The Real Foundation of Love

It can be difficult to distinguish what aspect of a relationship is the most important. This could include biology, chemistry, love, and a variety of other aspects. It seems that all of these are incredibly important, and Helen Fisher describes this as a "love map" (Fisher 304). She says that it is predetermined in the brain what kinds of people we will be attracted to, and we follow this unconsciously throughout our lives. Fisher also explained how she believes that "love at first sight" comes from nature. It is instinct for animals to grab their mates so no one else can have them, and this is similar to human's views of love at first sight (Fisher 305). Since the love map and love at first sight seem to be natural instincts, all of the "mystical" things that come along with love are actually all predetermined.

After realizing that most love engagements are unconscious and predetermined, cultural beliefs and behaviors could be drastically changed. Some cultures have arranged marriages, and they could change these ways because love has a biological component that proves that two people are meant to be together, and they cannot know if their arranged partner is actually the love of their life. The "wooing messages, dinner dates, and odor lures" cannot happen with arranged marriages, and this does not allow the partners to know if they are right for each other (Fisher 303). People who do not have arranged marriages would also date less because they would know if they had the chemistry and biological connection sooner. Based on "love at first sight," after a few dates, a couple would know if they were meant to be together, and if they were not, they would end it sooner (Fisher 305). Proving that relationships have a biological foundation could greatly change the way that we look at them in general.

I believe that there is definitely a chemistry between two people, and that biology is a firm basis for this. However, I think that it may be a little bold to claim that it is solely biology and chemistry that make up relationships, and that a love map is predetermined. Unless we get a chance to experience the world and what people have to offer, we cannot fully know what kind of partner we want for the rest of our lives. Biology has more of an impact on relationships than we give it credit for because it cannot be solely based on human opinion, but I do think that there is some wiggle room for people to discover who they are and what their identity is before choosing a partner, and this can be accomplished through dating and meeting others.